Tag: blogging

oh hi

Okay so listen, yes. I fell off the map, perhaps. The world got so loud and mean and relentless that I had to pull back a little. Less news, less media, less internet. It wasn’t a conscious thing, just an unconscious act of self-preservation.

And are things better now? Not really. Worse, in fact! But I am still alive and I do still care about the things I care about. The people I love, my pets, the written word. I’ve started and stopped this post several times because I always get mired down in the notion that nothing matters, especially this blog post and I wander off and I come back a month later, ready to apologize for a long silence but then I think, this doesn’t matter, etc. etc. etc.

But, obviously, things do matter. People matter, lives matter, equality matters, Palestine matters. Fighting fascism matters, stopping genocide matters. Speaking up and out while you still have a voice matters. Not watching all your rights get slowly whittled away silently, that matters.

Anyway, that’s why I’ve crawled back here after a year, ready to pop my head out of my gopher hole to say I’m alive, but straight up not having a good time.

I don’t generally like to acknowledge my health to myself, but that’s been a factor as well. I just can’t do everything that I used to be able to do and it’s always momentarily baffling to stand there and realize my own limitations. I was having a one-on-one with my boss at work and he asked what I felt held me back from doing all the things in my career that I want to achieve. Was it budgeting, was it staffing, was it time? And I was like, no it’s me. The only one who can stop ME is ME and maybe I was blessed with a punk-ass bitch immune system to stop me from trying to take over the world, I don’t know, but my health is my number one opp and we’re always in a fight these days.

So anyway, sorry for dipping for so long. I wasn’t truly gone. You can always find me on my socials. Instagram stories, usually, twitter for fandom things, tumblr occasionally. Thank you for hanging around, for the people who reach out, for the people who read my books or my fic, for the lurkers. I do appreciate the community we have and understand how important it is.

If you’re also an American, hang in there. We got this. We can do hard things. đź’ś

National Library Week

If a librarian hasn’t told you lately that libraries aren’t silent anymore, please allow me to be the librarian that informs you that model is terribly out of date.

Read More...

Rainy February

And for those who have not yet gotten your hands on it, Two is a Pattern will be on sale on Amazon this weekend!

Read More...

Happy holidays!

To those who celebrate, I hope your holidays were merry. I had an unprecedented four days off in a row, and I did a lot of sitting around! I watched some Christmas movies (Miracle on 34th Street, While You Were Sleeping, Muppet Christmas Carol, and The Lion in Winter), cooked some meals, wrapped some presents, unwrapped some presents and now here we are, hurdling toward 2024.

Now, however, it’s back to work. I don’t mind this time of year, actually. While this library is never slow, we do less programming and generally give ourselves a breather. People always get sick, there are always vacations, so it makes sense to buffer in a little wiggle room.

We got a new Nintendo Switch for the teens and have been playing Mario Kart in the staff room, ostensibly to unlock the features before the kids play it. Yeah. That’s the reason.

Last night, my dog woke up me up at 2 am to go outside so I stumbled out of bed, until my partner said, “I just let them out. Why would he wake you up?”

Turns out, it was because he wanted to lie in my warm spot and he immediately snuggled up with his head on my pillow. I was like, EXCUSE ME? And then he moved to lie on the folded back sheet and then tried to sit on top of his sister and was generally just a menace. He’s grumpy because we’re out of his favorite treats and they don’t arrive until tomorrow, so I think he simply decided to make his bad mood everyone’s problem.

So today, I’m a little more tired. The last month and a half has been a blur of holidays, work, gearing up for a new book launch, and revising a manuscript so I’m happy to find myself in this liminal pocket of time that is the last week of the year with no immediately pressing deadlines. It’s rare, and appreciated and I hope you find a restful pocket here and there as well.

autumn lovers, rise up

My partner has been out of town a lot this month. First, a full week on the east coast doing a training and now, off hiking the grand canyon for several days. I am not an outdoorsy girl, I am not interested in that kind of nature. I respect it! It’s magnificent and I’m awed by the glory of creation, etc, etc, but I don’t want to stand in it and I don’t want it to touch me. My idea of the perfect day in nature is sitting on the deck of a cabin, looking at pine trees.

Anyway, I’ve been alone a lot, which I really don’t mind. I value solitude. I’m an introvert and being alone is really important to my well-being. However, I also value a routine, and my partner being gone is quite the interruption.

I have my dogs, so I’m not alone alone. They’re eleven now, and have fully transitioned into being elderly. My boy dog is reluctant to jump up on furniture and will only sometimes use his dog stairs. (We’re dog stairs people, now.) So often, I pick up him and put him on the bed and I can feel his little hip pop or his spine crack. Our girl dog also has bad days. Yesterday she didn’t want to eat her treat and only wanted to lie in the sun on the hot brick patio. Nature’s heating pad! So I gave her some pain killers and she perked up a little. We both have arthritis, so girl squad! I compromised with her. She came inside and I let her sleep on my heating pad.

We all know when it’s the usual time for my partner to get home and when the time comes and goes, we’re all a little sadder for it. We go to bed and everyone is restless and brimming with ennui.

Even though I live in California, I live in the northern half, so while it’s still mostly sunshine and blue skies all the time, there are the first hints of fall. It’s getting darker much earlier, there are a few crunchy leaves on the ground. It’s cool enough to wear a sweatshirt in the mornings and evenings. All I want is to be able to wear a hoodie and not be too hot, so this is most welcome.

One really good thing happened: I hit my ten year work anniversary and my 120 payments on student loans and applied to have the remainder of my loans waived through the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program. Student loan payments are about to start imminently so I was really cutting it close, but I logged in the other day and my balance said $0.00. Like… I don’t know if you’ve ever worked relentlessly toward a goal for a solid decade only to see it quietly achieved on a random Tuesday, but it was an indescribable feeling. Surprise and glee and suspicion and relief. Just a big burden suddenly gone. I still haven’t received the formal letter, but I’ve never seen my balance be zero, so I think it’s done.

Fall is always my time to thrive. Good things happen in the fall. Honey in the Marrow came out last October, and now the German translation and the audiobook (pre-order here) are coming out this October. The cover for my next book is nearly ready and I get to announce that soon, I imagine. I recorded a podcast with fellow Ylva author Jennifer Giacolone yesterday, so I’m excited to share that with you when it goes live. (pre-order Jen’s book, Art of the Chase here.)

AND we’re going to Disneyland for our 9th wedding anniversary in October. What more could a California girl ask for?