so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen

To live in this world, you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.

Mary Oliver

I’ve had the feeling that something has needed to change for a while now, but I spent a lot of time ignoring it. Change is hard and I don’t think anyone likes it that much, especially not introverted writer/librarians who just want to stay home and think about books.

I’m the type of person that usually would rather endure continued discomfort than to actually change, but I realized recently that the thing that was giving me the most grief was my job and that was the thing that needed to become something else. Nothing WILD. I didn’t quit in a rage. I’m like seven months away from having my student loans forgiven because I work in public service, so no rage-quitting for me quite yet. I do, however, work for a moderate-sized library system, so I decided to hop branches. I’m going from the biggest, busiest branch to something small, tucked into a neighborhood.

It could feel like a failure, but it’s not. I’ve spent seven years at this big, crazy branch and I actually am really good at it. I’m good at the volume, I’m good at multitasking, I’m good at de-escalating fraught situations. I’m the go-to person for problem solving of any kind. I know I can do this job and have been very successful at it.

But I just don’t want to work this hard anymore. And I decided that’s okay. So, today is my last day at this branch. I’m going to take a couple weeks off and show up to a new location that is so, so excited to have me. And for the first time in such a long time, I’m excited about my job again. The idea of getting up and going to work doesn’t make me feel some kind of awful way. Everyone at my old branch is so sad to see me go, but I know it’s the right move because I’m not sad at all.

The thing I’ll miss most is the Starbucks in walking distance.

In fact, I think I’ll go right now. One last hurrah! See you on the other side!

Leave a Reply